Bu-lat-lat (boo-lat-lat) verb: to search, probe, investigate, inquire; to unearth facts

Vol. IV, No. 43 November 28 - December 4, 2004 Quezon City, Philippines

By Luna Soler

In the morning of my thirtieth year, as I sat in front of my working table with my toddler still asleep in my arms, I read a tearjerking birthday note from my husband. That day and the next, he handed me portraits of me and our son. He’s always full of simple, silent surprises that never fail to overwhelm me -- like this one. I said to myself: with him, our little one and everything and everyone that has to do with our chosen lifepath, I cannot be happier elsewhere.

I felt an urge to write about this happiness especially after reading a piece that implied “inuuna ng parent-activists ang bayan” at the expense of their children .

It was in the beautiful and colorful lifepath of struggle where I met my husband. My colleagues and I went to the the countryside (others, to factories and urban-poor communities) after finishing (some toward the end of) college and couldn't turn our backs at what we saw -- stark poverty and how the equally hardworking farmers and the New People's Army worked together to face it, study about it, solve it no matter how painstakingly long it takes. The exhausting treks, constant mobility, and various other hardships were easily offset by the warm accommodation of the barriofolk, lively discussions with them on various topics -- from current events to economic projects to the familial and personal, activities we work on hand-in-hand -- from simple house chores and cultural gatherings to landtilling and other livelihood concerns. It was no temporary operation but an integration of minds, hearts and limbs that has blossomed and continues to bloom through time. The goal is to unite as many Filipinos as possible, starting from the peasants, workers and professionals who comprise majority of the population, in waging primarily the armed struggle to overhaul the stinking system. A concrete path leading to a bright future.

Looking at how the government fiercely wrought violence against hapless civilians, from simple harassment to mental and physical torture and summary execution, as more and more people are standing up against the status quo and seeking genuine alternatives, it was clear that the struggle was not an option but a necessity. No wonder the people support and cheer the victories of NPA offensives and punitive operations against the armed forces, despotic almighties and incorrigible criminals. Many young men and women we came by eagerly wished to and then eventually did join us when they came of age.

My decision had me dropping my plans to teach in a university. I lost the person with whom I thought I shared my dreams and will spend the rest of my days. My husband and I feel that those who raised us -- whom we do love very much -- also feel somewhat affected that we didn't choose to live a ‘normal (perhaps unpersecuted and relatively comfortable in many senses of the word)’ life. Considering this does make me anxious at times -- but I am strengthened by my unwavering kabiyak, and am humbled and inspired to go on whenever I remember the thousands who have sacrificed their lives in this course.

The self-criticizing movement, which advances as it learns and draws strength from the people's plight, is teaching and enriching us plenty. We strive to live simply (which is not all that hard because the job has no renumeration), and devote ourselves to our contribution to the pursuance of the struggle. A deep sense of camaraderie and unity is continuously forged among comrades. An undying optimism burns among the people with whom the movement weaves and celebrates changes borne out of the constant but long-term struggle for what is right and just. This arms us in the attempt to never tire of explaining the revolution to the people – including our kin and friends -- in every way we can. They extend their support or themselves get involved in various forms. Hope thus springs eternal despite the constant threats imposed by the status quo.

Living a dangerous life never became an issue until our little one was born to us. The state's by-hook-or-by-crook persecution of the movement limits the time that we can spend with our child. Thus, raising our baby to be a happy, healthy, loving, discerning and responsible individual is a challenge. But with the same optimism, taking inspiration from the many parent-activists (like my parents) who raised their children to be what their children wanted to become (not a few opted to join the struggle as well), and with our relatives' and friends' support that has even strengthened our resolve through the years, our confidence about it outshines the otherwise inevitable worries.

Through the years, we’ve learned that caring for our offspring and serving the people go very much together and are not contradictory as others may – or may wish to -- think. To experience I charge the sad growing-up stories (some of which I, too, have ) of children of parent-activists. As far as I can remember, despite the crying episodes, I’ve always referred to my parents as the best in the world (and their comrades, the kindest and most intelligent pack of titos and titas – aside from our kin of course). Before it was because of the way they and the ones to whom they entrusted me made me feel their love -- no matter the periods of separation. Now it is also because of the two dictums they taught me that have inspired me through -- ‘serve the people’ and ‘everything in its own sweet time’. They themselves remind us to learn from the ups and downs we went through while growing up so we can be good parents to our child.

None of them may be perfect, but I have not met a single parent in this lifepath who didn’t wish the best for their kids. My parents may not have been able to give me so many toys and other material stuff as I grew up, but they sure taught and shared with me this happiness - that which is in simple things; in the natural beauty of this earth; in the intrinsic goodness of humanity; in sharing these with our kin and friends.

Happiness is also in opening one’s eyes to the realities of life; in determining what needs to be done not only to face it but to change it if necessary; and in doing it no matter how difficult it may be.

Knowing that we are not alone in this quest, we hope to be able to raise our child to be a happy one, too. The looks of it are promising, if my husband and I may say so. Posted by Bulatlat

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