Bu-lat-lat (boo-lat-lat) verb: to search, probe, investigate, inquire; to unearth facts

Vol. V,    No. 19      June 19 - 25, 2005      Quezon City, Philippines

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Gloria’s Prayer and Other Jokes

Filipinos have been known for their sense of humor even in times of crisis. Bulatlat thanks the readers who have sent the following jokes.

By Bulatlat

Gloria's Prayer

Gambling Lord's

Who art in Jueteng

Hakot be thy name

Thy kickback come

Thy wealth be done in Malacañang

As it is in Pampanga!

 

Amin yan!

 

* * *

 

Aba, Ginang Gloria napupuno ka ng grasya.
Ang kayamanan ng tao ay sumaiyo na.
Bukod kang pinagpapala sa babaeng lahat
at pinagpala naman ang iyong anak na si Mikey.

Santa-santitang Gloria, ina ni Lion King
Ipanalangin mo na kay Bush ang iyong mga kasalanan
Ngayon at baka mamaya ay magkaisa ang bayan at paalisin ka na.
Amen.
 

* * *
 

Another version:


Aba naman Gloria napupuno ka ng grasya.
Ang kayamanan ng tao ay sumaiyo na,
Bukod kang pinagpala sa babaeng lahat.
Pinagpala rin ang iyong angkan. Wala nang natira sa
AMEN.
 

* * *


Breaking news: Presidential brother-in-law Iggy Arroyo alyas Jose Pidal is now practicing the voice of GMA.
 

* * *
 

Another version:

NAGBABAGANG BALITA: Nakatakdang aminin ni Iggy Arroyo na siya ang boses ng babae sa
tape. Napabalitang bumalik na siya sa Pilipinas upang simulan ang pag-aaral sa boses ni GMA.

 

* * *
 

Woman: Garci, pasahan mo naman ako ng vote, este, load.
 

* * *
 

Opposition: Why can't GMA come out and say “I'm not the ma'am in the tape”?
Malacañang: She doesn't want to lie.
 

* * *
 

Dalawang tao ang narinig na nag-uusap sa dilim:

Babae: Lahat ng mga Arroyo ay magnanakaw.
Lalaki: Ang sakit mo namang magsalita.
Babae: Bakit? Isa ka ba sa mga Arroyo?
Lalaki: Hindi. Magnanakaw ako!
 

* * *
 

Tanong: Sa dami ng mga batikos, bakit hindi magawang magsalita ng ating presidente?
Sagot: Mahirap na. Baka mabosesan!

 

* * *


QUESTION: What special feature has been added in the cellphones of Mike and Mikey Arroyo?
ANSWER: Call Jueteng.
 

* * *

 

For more fun, download the now famous “Hello Garci” ringtones:

- Hello Garci 1

- Hello Garci 2

 

Bulatlat

 

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© 2004 Bulatlat  Alipato Publications

Permission is granted to reprint or redistribute this article, provided its author/s and Bulatlat are properly credited and notified.